same sentiment

read one of my friend's blog juz now. and really feel 感同身受. suddenly feel... i also don't know how to put it, feel abit happy that at least some people out there have the same feeling as me. and yet sad at the same time that another person is living unhappily.
Does that means i m a unhappy person? hmm... partly true and partly false. (u can use partial differential to see the relationship) i have always been grateful for having a roof over me, food to eat, water to drink (and bath and wash hands blah blah), and blankets to cover, good parents and a good-but-not-so-good-brother. but sometimes, i juz feel that internally i am not a happy person, at least not as happy as i should be, or appear to be.
whenever i want to abandon everything and juz be myself, there will be something inside me that ask me to do the other way. the invisible stress that i constantly exert on myself, for don't know what reason. i think i am juz plain spastic.

坚强的人事幸福的，假装坚强的人是可悲的。但是自己选择假装坚强的人更可悲。
就像笑容是快乐的，但是强颜欢笑是难过的。

don't think i never tried. i had. but i failed.

不断地反省为什么这么辛苦，把包袱卸下，天空会更蔚蓝，空气更清新。

也许坚强和潇洒只是用来掩饰内心的懦弱和不安。
一大桶的冷笑话，也许只是对世界的冷眼旁观，对内心的冷嘲热讽。

hmm... yah, today i finally posted something meaningful after n-light years. or perhaps is the first one that i ever posted... but then again...who cares.

Shall end here.